When I lived in London I rarely saw bumblebees but since moving to leafy Surrey and having my own wild garden (literally, three young children definitely hamper my ‘perfect’ gardening ambition!) I’ve seen tens if not hundreds of bees and many different species that I didn’t even know existed.

Now I’ve started  dabbling in the garden under the expert supervision of my very talented mother-in-law I have been keen to find out more about ‘bee friendly’ plants.  Having splashed out on plants over the bank holiday weekend I caught  Radio 4′s book of the week  this week, which was Dave Goulson’s A Sting in the Tale (you can hear the last episode here) all about bumblebees, plants that bumblebees love  and the establishment of the Bumblebee Conservation Trust.

What struck me from listening to the programme is that the bright, colourful bedding plants that are sold everywhere at this time of year are of no use to bumblebees, being that they often produce little or no pollen as a result of selective breeding by horticulturalists for other characteristics, such as appearance. This doesn’t mean that we should stop buying them,  I love my pansies and begonias! But when it comes to bees not all plants are created equal.

I’ve had a look at the Bumblee Conservation Trust site and it has a useful guide to plants that you can put into your garden to make it ‘bee friendly. I’ve already seen from the past few summers the effect lavender has on bees and how much they like it, so I’ve planted more, along with erysimums and scabious just because I like them. I also learnt from A sting in the tale the importance of legumes for bees so I have also planted some peas.

Another new discovery is how expensive buying plants is despite the many special offers at this time of year. In preparation for next year, we will be splitting some of our bee friendly plants and creating cuttings as well as growing more plants from seed. I will be sharing these with friends so we can do plant swapsies hopefully creating beautiful bee friendly gardens!

If I succeed on my mission I’ll blog some photos probably of plants but also, I really hope, of bees.

At first it was pretty hard. I am not shy but instead harbour that horrible feeling that when people I didn’t know well asked me to do something they didn’t really expect me to say yes, or hadn’t really thought it through, or were confusing me with someone else, so having been conditioned to be endlessly polite and not wishing to inconvenience anyone I would turn down the invitation, invent a handy excuse and disappear off the radar.

My infinitely patient and supportive husband is the opposite to this, he would jump on opportunities to meet new people, to challenge himself and his ideas about the world with others and never worried that he wasn’t really welcome or that his views might not be well received. This is a trait that I really admired (and still do) in him and I wanted some of his self-confidence for myself!

At first it was little things, saying yes to the health visitor when she suggested a breast-feeding group I could go to. Knowing she was going to ask me if I’d been the next time we met my innate politeness worked in my favour by getting me there. I thought it would be torturous and I’d feel left out in a room of people who knew each other already but of course it wasn’t like that at all – babies are a great conversation starter after all. I was welcomed with open arms, met lots of lovely mothers, shared stories, tea and jokes and went home clutching a list of numbers of people to call for a walk or a chat, people I am still in  touch with today 6 years on despite moving out of the neighbourhood.

Sometimes I really had to (and still do) fight the urge not to return to my default ‘no’ position, when I really have to force myself to say yes. One occasion before the twins were born was saying yes to a coffee invitation to another mum at my son’s nursery. I felt enormous, uncomfortable and fluffy headed but surprised myself by having a great time and really enjoying the other mum’s company – now a firm friend.  It also taught me that while I was worrying about myself often invitations were proffered because the other person wanted company, to talk, to reach out and make new friends. In short I had been selfish in my fear.

I’d love to say that I have now conquered my fears entirely but I can still feel it lingering. In fact this post was inspired by me saying ‘yes’ to an invitation that my pre-children self would definitely have said no to. I can’t share yet what that is but I will in due course and however it turns out I feel proud of myself for being brave and saying yes.

To join in head on over to the wonderful Mammasaurus.  You can also join in with #Satcap on Twitter. If you do take part let me know in comments so I can come and visit!

I have many things I want to blog about but the one thing that really struck me when offline is how much I rely on it: it’s the twins birthday this week and until last night I hadn’t ordered party supplies or cake materials,  ever since I was a victim of fraud I check my bank balance every day online,  the BBC is the first website I visit in the morning for a snapshot on what’s going on in the world, I read blogs and forums, I map my running/ walking/ cycling routes on Map My Run, I pay for school dinners and I order birthday cards, presents, clothes, food all online!

So how have I managed over the past two weeks? I’d love to tell you that I’ve fallen back in love with the high street and spent time talking to people I buy services from but the truth is while I have used cash machines and been into the bank the products available in our local high street (which is pretty good) are just a fraction of what’s available online. To get the food colours I need for one of the twin’s birthday cake I’d of had to do a 15 mile round trip. To get the Lego for a present I would have needed to drive to the next big town.  I’ve also discovered that going in person or phoning to sort out services takes much longer than doing online!

Being able to do things online liberates me from a life driving around and saves me time. But what does this mean for the future of the high street? I love popping to the shops and browsing but I do most of my ‘real’ spending online. I don’t want to live in a world without ‘real’ shops and I would miss the social interactions that a trip to the shops entails so what next for the high street?  Its something I know many people/ organisations/ politicians/ retailers are concerned with and something I will be looking more into over the coming months.

I’d love to hear your views…

How reliant are you on the online world? Do you miss it when you can’t access it?

Do you shop mostly online, or mostly offline?

How do you think the high street should change to meet new demands and different retail spending patterns?

What would an ideal retail world look like?

I’m off now to browse blogs and websites, bliss

To join in head on over to Sonya from rocknrollmum this week as the lovely Mammasaurus was due to be climbing Snowdon but is now poorly   You can also join in with #Satcap on Twitter. If you do take part let me know in comments so I can come and visit!

So here goes… I have a big boy who is now six, who is funny, charming and clever.  Yes he can throw a strop that rivals some of the very best prima donnas but I am still one of his favourite people to hang out with, his curiosity and wonder of the world is inspiring and every day he does things that amaze me in a good way. I love his new interest in pop music and seeing him dance with wild abandon in his room. I love hearing his thoughts about the world and how he’s beginning to work things out.  His determination to overcome any challenges life throws at him makes me very proud and when I see him sitting on the sofa reading a book or working hard at his swimming I see just how much he’s growing up and becoming an even lovelier boy.

My lovely daughter is feisty, funny and very independent. I love the fact that she’s kind but also pretty tough living as she does with two brothers. Her giggles along with her singing make me smile every day as does the very sweet way she ‘mothers’ her brothers, particularly her twin brother who she helps put on shoes, get his toothbrush and tuck into bed.  I love her very unique sense of fashion and that she has a certain flair that I am sure will stand her in good stead in the world.  From being such a tiny little person at birth she’s grown into a very brilliant determined little girl who can rise to pretty much any challenge, from being the fastest person on scooter, foot or bike to making friends with every girl she sees out and about.

Last but by no means least my youngest son (by a whole 2 minutes) is a gentle soul, another giggler but far quieter than the other two. I love his cuddles, the way he holds my hand when he’s eating his tea and his surprise and delight when I live up to his expectations (yesterday, for example, he asked for burger and chips for tea so I made them for him from scratch and when he saw my home-made offerings he kissed me and said “it was the best tea ever”). I love his quirky sense of humour and the fact that when he thinks no-ones watching he will bust out all his moves to Tree Fu Tom. I love how proud he is of himself when he recalls all the features of the Fiddler Crab and the way he glows when he plays a ‘grown up’ game with his brother and holds his own.

So there you have it, rather than the Ranty Friday post that I had planned instead this is in honour of my lovely children. I feel very lucky to be their mum.

The Serenity Prayer by  Reinhold Niebuhr

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

The prayer is longer and can be read in its entirety here but this is the part that sticks with me daily.  I am not religious but really appreciate the simplicity of the message.

Wednesday Words

The twins are now nearly four. They are scarily independent and as for the big boy now six his baby days are long gone. Perhaps this happens in all households at this time but the OH has started talking about having another baby.

I have very mixed feelings about this.  I feel really lucky to have three healthy delightful children going for another feels like pushing my luck. Financially we can probably afford to give it a go but it means that any hopes of me returning to work in the near future is wishful thinking.  My family is pretty balanced at the moment, how would another child fit into the mix? What would be the impact on my children? Health wise I’m ok but will be hitting the over 35 yr old mum pregnancy thing. I have a growth on my thyroid that is apparently triggered by pregnancy but its benign so it shouldn’t be a concern I don’t think?

And perhaps my main reservation is what if there is more than one baby again? The chances of a twin mum having twins again is apparently 1 in 14. Not that high, but not that low.  I also can’t work out if secretly I want twins again but surely going from 3 to 5 children is madness?

So lots of things to think about. The OH says that if we’re going to go for it we should do it now as we may never get the chance again.  I’m going to have to think long and hard about whether this is a real consideration for us. As always any comments/ advice is appreciated!

I look forward to reading your captions!

To join in head on over to the Mammasaurus and join in with #Satcap on Twitter.

Ingredients:
A large chicken breast per person
Boursin/ Roquefort small pack
Parma ham/ streaky bacon, 3-4 strips per chicken breast
tooth picks

Method:
1. Take a chicken breast, cut a line down the middle – not all the way down mind, leave a cm or two at each of the chicken breast.
2. stuff the chicken breast with the Boursin or Roquefort (or any crumbly blue/herb cheese).
3. Wrap chicken breast in Parma ham or streaky bacon strips. If necessary secure with toothpicks (if you wrap the strips around tightly and put the ‘ends’ under the chicken breast it should all stay together.
4. Cook at 180C in preheated oven for about 30 mins.

NB. There is sometimes some cheeze ‘oozing’ so good to put the chicken breasts on tinfoil on baking tray.

I like to serve this with salad and jacket potato, but could also serve with just salad or with mash etc…

That’s it a simple, fuss free supper!